TL;DR
The new U.S. dietary guidelines basically say: eat real food, less sugar, less highly processed stuff, and more protein. Cool. The problem is your gut doesn’t live in a PDF. It lives in your calendar. So here’s my ZebraGut method: build a “default diet” you can repeat 90% of the time, so you can be normal the other 10%.
On January 7, 2026, the U.S. government (HHS + USDA) released the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, 2025–2030 and the internet did what it does best: lost its mind, picked teams, and turned “eat real food” into a personality trait.
Here’s my take: the guidelines are not crazy. They’re basically saying less ultra-processed stuff, less added sugar, more real meals, and yeah, more protein. (Also: whoever worked on the UX deserves a raise. Government websites are usually a cry for help.)
I respect Stanford professor Christopher Gardner’s critique (below) because it’s measured and specific (link here). I also enjoyed the memes. Both can be true.
Now: I’m not doing macro warfare today. I’m not ranking seed oils. I’m not debating whether the food pyramid is inverted. (If you want that energy, there’s plenty of it already.)
What I do think matters: having food principles, and making them personal enough to survive real life. Guidelines are a map. Your gut is a living system. One-size-fits-all advice works… until you meet Tuesday.
My goal (and my constraints)
My objective is simple: reduce GERD symptoms while staying relatively fit (and ideally building muscle) without losing my mind.
My constraints:
I’m practical. If it’s fast + “good enough,” I’m in.
I don’t mind repetition if it passes the flavor test (binary, low bar).
I’m not naturally a “salad person,” so I have to design vegetables into the system on purpose.
Fresh stuff expiring is my villain arc.
So I don’t aim for perfection. I aim for defaults. Defaults reduce decisions which lead to fewer chances to mess myself up.
It starts in the cart
If your “healthy eating plan” requires daily motivation, you will get punched in the face like Mike Tyson famously said. My system starts where behavior can start playing tricks: the grocery cart.
I used to do Whole Foods / Trader Joe’s like a normal person. Then I realized my schedule was winning that fight. So now I lean hard on online ordering. Yes, Amazon Fresh, because it removes friction and decision fatigue. The cheat code is Amazon’s “Order Again.” It lets me keep my baseline diet on rails in under 10 minutes.
My 90% default diet (aka: boring on purpose)
Breakfast default:
Eggs + muenster cheese + arepa or Ezekiel bread.
Lunch default:
Chicken breast seasoned in a way that doesn’t trigger me + sweet potato (air fryer) + something green (usually spinach salad).
Dinner default:
Repeat the salad + add protein (leftover chicken if I’m lucky; anything reasonable if I’m not).
Protein “insurance”:
Protein powder on gym days / when I’m short on my target.
Eating out default (weekday):
Dig Inn near the office, my “pre-approved, don’t-make-me-think” place. On the first iteration of this system I convinced myself Chipotle was gut-friendly enough. My gut disagreed vehemetly.
Eating out (friends / weekend):
I’m not strict. I like trying new things. My only rules are: don’t get overly full, and eat earlier (GERD + hiatal hernia tax).
Sweet tooth hack:
Cottage cheese pistachio “ice cream” (shoutout to my sister) instead of demolishing a Van Leeuwen pint like it’s an Olympic sport. I would have gotten a gold medal for those of you asking.
My very own ChatGPT-generated food pyramid.
Where it breaks (and how I deal)
The current challenge is that some ingredients run out before others. Then I improvise, miss targets, or order out.
Travel is the biggest punch in the face to my system. Airports are basically designed to tempt you into decisions you’ll regret later. I’m still working on this, but I’ve started building “reasonable go-tos” for the cities I visit often.
ZebraGut’s suggestion (instead of complaining online)
Instead of complaining about the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, build your own dietary guidelines for your.
Write this down:
My goal: (symptoms / energy / muscle / weight / whatever you care about)
My constraints: (time, budget, cooking tolerance, triggers)
My non-negotiables
My 3 default breakfasts/lunches/dinners
Spots I can easily go to
Foods I love
Foods I hate
I made a simple Google Sheet template for this. Copy it, fill it out, then use the prompt below to have ChatGPT (or your best AI friend) turn it into a 2-week default plan + a shopping list.
Run it for 2 weeks. Notice what works. Adjust. Rinse and repeat.
Try not to beat yourself up and find a couple of people that also care about gut health to help you stay accountable. Needless to say, if you want to shoot the shit about this stuff, I’m here. Just drop me a line.
May 2026 be the year you get less confused about your gut… and spend more days doing things you actually enjoy.
SIUUU.
The Prompt
You are my gut-friendly meal planning assistant.
I filled out a “Default Diet Builder” table with:
- my goal and constraints
- My non-negotiables
- 1–3 default breakfasts/lunches/dinners
- Spots I can easily go to
- Favorite Foods
- Foods I hate
Task:
1) Turn my entries into a simple 2-week “default diet” plan that repeats (90% consistency).
2) Give me a weekly shopping list grouped by: Protein, Carbs, Veg/Fruit, Dairy, Pantry, Extras.
3) Add a short “when life happens” fallback plan: 2 easy meals + 2 eating-out options.
4) Output the plan as BOTH:
a) a readable checklist
b) a CSV I can download with columns: Date, Meal, Default Item, Prep Time, Notes, Trigger Risk (Low/Med/High)
Rules:
- Keep it practical and low-effort.
- Prefer repetition and defaults over variety.
- Use my triggers/avoid list to flag risky items.
Ask me up to 3 clarification questions only if absolutely necessary.
Disclaimer
This newsletter is for educational purposes only and reflects personal experience, research, and interpretation. This is NOT medical advice. Everyone’s gut is different. What works for one person may not work for another. If you have a diagnosed condition, ongoing symptoms, or are considering major dietary changes, please consult a qualified healthcare professional or registered dietitian.